Challenged To The Core - Del Brixey

When a business gets off-track, management is faced with hard decisions on how to salvage the company. Great managers spend the time necessary to evaluate their situation, devise a plan and then work the plan. They are vigilant in tracking their progress and making mid-course corrections to insure success. Poor managers stick their head in the sand hoping that everything will work itself out. They make the same mistakes year after year until they are forced to shut down because they literally run out of money. A marriage can also get off track. Wise couples seek God’s help, commit to His plan and then work the plan with His direction. Other couples avoid the issues, refuse to make changes and leave a path of destruction as they ride their marriage into the ground. To weather the storms of life a marriage just like a business has to get back “on point”; committing their resources and lives to their original purpose.

Present - “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.” Psalm 51:11. When David got “off-track” in his life his biggest concern was that God would leave him. Jesus comforted His disciples before His death promising them that “I will not leave you as orphans…” (John 14:18) letting them know that He would send the Holy Spirit. As husbands and wives we need to realize how much our “presence” is important to our relationship and to our families. Nothing can replace our “presence” at home. Our spouses married a person not an income or a lavish lifestyle. Our children don’t want to see our picture at night, they want us to tuck them in bed or play ball with them. To get “on point” we must make sure we are “present” in the life of our family.

Open - “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” Psalm 143:10. Have you ever caught yourself feeling, “It’s my way or the highway!” when dealing with your spouse or children? Believe it or not we need to be open to God’s will in our marriages because we don’t have all the answers. Sometimes God will speak to us through reading the Bible, the circumstances we find ourselves in, or even through godly counsel from those around us whom we trust enough to open our lives with or who are bold enough to tell what we need to hear even if we don’t ask. Regardless, don’t be afraid to ask God for His “Spirit” to lead you on level ground however He chooses. God is always ready, willing and able to give us the help we need.

Involved - “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9. These two verses talk about our relationships. The first is with our spouse. If we are to “submit” to our spouse we have to be involved with them. We talked about being “present” earlier but our presence needs to be linked with a desire to be involved. Mutual submission and God’s design of our unique roles as husband and wife cannot be developed in a passive or disinterested relationship with our spouse. In Deuteronomy our involvement as parents is highlighted by our responsibility to love God and to teach our children to do the same; when we sit at home, walk along the road, and when we lie down and get up. It can’t be delegated to someone else, parenting is a full-time job. One of the worst tragedies of divorce is the absence that occurs by one parent not living in the home. Even with the best intentions, parents do not have the same influence with their children if they are not living with them under the same roof.

Needed - “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15. Every marriage needs workmen; two people who are committed to each other and their marriage. Husbands have one role to fulfill while wives have a different role (Ephesians 5:21-33). In Genesis 2:24 God tells us that “a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” When spouses become “one flesh”, these “roles” are comingled to provide the best match for the marriage. If one spouse “checks-out” mentally and/or physically their relationship is weakened, their witness is weakened and their effectiveness as parents is weakened. Each of us brings a set of gifts and talents to a marriage that is important. As hard as it might be to blend them, success is dependent on spouses who recognize their “need” for each other and strive to become “one flesh” before God.

Trustworthy - “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9. It should go without saying, but a marriage must be built on mutual trust. Trust provides the secure footing we need to negotiate the rough terrain of life’s circumstances. Moses reminded Joshua in front of the Israelites that God “will never leave you or forsake you” when they stood at the border of the Promised Land. Trust is the glue that keeps a marriage together when the world comes crashing down around us. If trust is ever broken it can be repaired but the process is long and hard. Sometimes the price tag is more than people are willing to pay; value it and protect it at all costs.

Staying “on point” is a constant challenge. It requires us to be vigilant in protecting our marriages from our own weaknesses as well as from attacks from the outside. However, a marriage that is “on point” is more rewarding than all of the world’s silver or gold. Check your “pulse” this week and commit your life and resources to being “on point” in your marriage.