Challenged To The Core - Kathi Brixey

Have you ever held someone in such high esteem that you were afraid to even approach them let alone disagree with them? I have felt that way about several individuals in my life, once in my teens and then again in my early twenties. It wasn’t until years later and after many life lessons, that I realized how foolish that had been. They were no different than me, were no more righteous before God, just everyday people who loved God outrageously. I wanted that kind of passion and discipline! They inspired me to move into a deeper relationship with God, and to become aware of how others observe us as Christian role models. Our Heavenly Father is so awesome in the way that He teaches us truths and principles to live by.

My children taught me so much as they grew and drove me into scripture in order to find the answers I needed to raise them in a world so full of adversity and sin. We all made it through the tough times and came out, all of us, each a whole person bearing no visible scars. One of the more important things that I learned along the way in raising our children was the ability to be flexible in what I thought and with what disciplines I expected would work. With each child the discipline had to be adjusted even though the rules remained the same. Keep in mind that we were only twenty-one when our first child was born. Only married three years and adjusting to being parents, wow, surprisingly enough we made it through. We leaned on God because He was our “calm in the storm” just when we needed Him the most. This experience prompted us to discuss the right time to get married with our children as they grew into young adults. God provides so many experiences to help teach our children if we become aware of the opportunities.

As our children grew into pre-teens and their hormones began to run wild, there were times in our home just like in most homes of teenagers, when we bumped heads in disagreement. What came out of that time of turmoil was a surprise to even me. One night while sitting on my oldest daughter’s bed after a rather large disagreement the Lord spoke to us both in such a sweet way. We both came to the table with the same idea. A way to listen and to be heard. This is how we learned to really listen to each other. Because when two people are in the middle of a disagreement and both want it their way we tend to not listen to what the other person is saying either literally or figuratively. So I gave our children the right to say “time out” to me and I could say it as well. We then would go to our rooms and try to remember what the other had said or what we had heard. Then we would come back together in an hour, sit facing each other and take turns telling what we thought we had heard the other say. It was a little rocky the first few times, but soon it became a great way to really hear what the other person was saying. This taught our children to really listen to others as well as to make sure that they were heard. Not in a bad way mind you, but to make their words mean something and to be kind in the process. So often in the rush to get our own way we have a tendency to only hear what we want to hear and only listen when we know what the answer will be.

What I learned from this experience was that in being flexible and pliable in order to be a better parent I became the calm quiet voice that our children grew to trust as they grew older. I also learned that my first reaction to any given situation wasn’t always the right one. This sometimes proved to be embarrassing and humbling. However, anytime God stretches you beyond where you are it is a good thing, if you learn from it. Modeling for your children to be open, to learning new things and to seek God’s wisdom is always a great opportunity! Today’s world is nothing short of mayhem most of the time; we need to find ways to be the “calm in the storm” for our children.

God wants to be our refuge and shelter in life, just like we want to be our children’s. Start today when you “check your pulse” to reach out to your children and really listen to what they are saying. They may be giving you opportunities to share God’s wisdom and your life’s experiences in a whole new way. What have you got to lose?