HELPING THOSE WHO HURT

“As the deer pants for streams of water,
        so my soul pants for you, O God.” Psalm 42:1

We never intend for “bad things” to happen in our life, but we can be assured that “bad things” will come our way sooner or later. I’m sorry if that sounds fatalistic to you, but it’s true. Life is a series of experiences, good and bad, that we will have to face on this earth. Some of these experiences are a result of our poor decisions while others are totally out of our control. For instance, a drunk driver can create their own “hell on earth” for themselves but also for innocent victims who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. When people are in crisis mode they need more than “three hots and a cot” to deal with their pain. They need friends or trusted advisors that will help them where they “HURT”.
 
Humor - “These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.”
 
When we meet with couples whose marriages are falling apart, tension seems to melt when we have them share their “love story”. Their hearts may be breaking because of their current situation but as they begin to verbalize their journey laughter always seems to percolate to the surface. It’s hard to cry when you are laughing (Proverbs 17:22). Their “laughter” begins to minister to their souls in the midst of their pain. But just as a doctor wouldn’t prescribe amputation for a runny nose, humor must be appropriate to the situation. A little dose can go a long way to cleanse and promote healing of emotional wounds; too much can irritate or create new wounds.    
 
Unmask - “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
 
If you are serious about helping those who are “hurting” you also need to be willing to “unmask” and get real. Couples in crisis don’t want platitudes or a verse of scripture for every situation that they are facing. They want advice from people whose lives have been sharpened through the fire of their own experiences. The honed “iron” of one life against the “rugged edge” of another life produces results. You have to be honest and open about how God has helped you in your life. Your stories won’t always be the same, but the process and the power to heal is identical; a surrendered life dependent on God for the answers in life.
 
Respect - “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” 1 Peter 3:15-16
 
Rodney Dangerfield made a living with his one liner of “I don’t get no respect”. Respect is something that all of us crave and it’s especially important to those who are hurting. The tragedy or mistakes in our life can take away our dignity. We need to treat everyone with “gentleness and respect”. Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 15:10, “But by the grace of God, I am what I am…” All of us are one heartbeat away from a crisis. We don’t know what tomorrow holds for us or our family. Yes, sometimes problems are self-inflicted, but that doesn’t remove our duty to treat each other with respect. My best memories from being in the hospital are of nurses who made me feel human in a dehumanizing experience. They ministered to my heart through the physical care of my body. What some might consider as menial work, they viewed as a calling. Think of ways to “respect” the dignity of the people who are hurting. They will remember your acts of kindness and respect long after their wounds have healed.
 
Time - “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…” Ecclesiastes 3:1
 
A friend of mine shared a quote with me the other day, “It’s not over until I say its over.” How true. Wounds can heal, we can return to our jobs and family, but sometimes our “hurting” is not over until we say “it’s over.” We are all wired differently, so be sure to allow people to heal in their own “time”. Our timelines from crisis to a “happy face” may be unrealistic. You cannot program healing or feelings by setting up a schedule. Be patient so time can administer its unique remedy to those who hurt.
 
Now it’s time to “Check Your Pulse”. After reading this article you may discover some area of your life that needs to heal. Please take some time to pray with God about the issue, listen intently for His answer and seek wise counsel if you are still confused about what to do. God has men and women who have dedicated their lives to helping people who hurt. Or perhaps you are the “person” God wants to use to help someone else through a crisis. Move forward with confidence that God can use you to provide more than “three hots and a cot” to help those who “HURT”. Give it all you’ve got!