MORE LOVE IN YOUR DAY

“Now when he saw the crowds, he went
 up on a mountainside and sat down. His
 disciples came to him, and he began to
 teach them, saying…”  Matthew 5:1-2

People were always coming to Jesus with their problems. Regardless of where He was or what He was already doing, Jesus took the time to meet their needs. It was in His very nature to serve those who needed Him. When we get busy, we tend to often ignore the person we married. We treat them like they are not as important as whatever else is on our agenda. Emily Barnes wrote a book called, “More Hours in My Day” to help women combat this ongoing conflict by teaching them how to become more organized, so they have more time. More time is beneficial, but it’s really all about choices. We decide every moment of every day how to use the time that we have. An hour wasted on trivial things can never be recaptured. The key is in understanding what is “trivial” and what is not. As Christ was dying on the cross, He thought it was important to share His love with the two thieves. What about you? Could you use a little “more love in your day”? Are there people in your life that need more love from you as well? Consider a few choices you can make “today” to put “more love in your day.”
 
Take the high road instead of the low road…
 
When times are bad it’s easier to take the low road than it is to take the high road. The high road requires more energy, effort and enthusiasm. Who wants to sweat anyway? Actually, the couples who want to have a healthy marriage do! Even the small stuff becomes important in putting more love in your day. Admitting when you are wrong is a move in the right direction. Taking the initiative to make decisions that benefit your spouse more than yourself is another positive step. You have to ask yourself, “Do I want to be right or do I want to be left alone…all alone, by myself wishing that I had taken the other road?” High road or low road, it’s a daily choice.      
 
Organized to spend more time with your spouse instead of achieving more…
 
Our lives get cluttered with too many activities, projects and deadlines on the horizon. We can become so organized that we have no time to spend with our spouse. Time with the one you love should be a higher priority than filling every waking moment with a task to accomplish or a dragon to slay. We need to remember what it was like when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other or when we could hardly wait to see each other again. Kathi told me the other day that when I was deathly ill fighting cancer, she would “smell” my sweaters to feel close to me again. Now that’s what I’m talking about. We need to treasure every moment we have with each other before it’s too late!   
 
Determine to find the positive not the faults…
 
As a Melancholy personality, this is especially difficult for me. I tend to look at everything from a pessimistic point of view. Thankfully, Kathi keeps me balanced by taking a more positive outlook, but there are times when I find the silver lining for her as well. Try to see your path in life with each other as an adventure to share instead of an interminable death march toward the grave. I heard a new twist on an old phrase the other day; when life throws you a lemon, you need to put it in the juicer. When Kathi gets frustrated thinking that she is looking older, I tell her that the older I get the more I like older women, referring to her of course. Improve your vision by looking for the positive; anyone can see the negatives in life because they tend to scream for our attention.   
 
Act like you care not like you could care less…
 
“Rub some dirt on it!” was a popular phrase when our kids were growing up. It was aimed at taking the focus off of their injury and onto the situation at hand. Although some believe it’s an uncompassionate thing to tell a child, it was rooted in a belief that everything in life has to be viewed in the right perspective. If we let the small stuff in life overwhelm us, how can we deal with the big stuff? However, we can become so callous to the hurts of those around us that we never show compassion. We become numb, uncaring and bitter. It may even take a bit of acting at first, but over time you can overcome your tendency to always be the tough guy.  
 
Yell for each other not at each other…
 
Some cultures value a heated argument as a form of releasing tension, but for the most part yelling doesn’t really accomplish much. Unless, you have fallen into a mine shaft and need Lassie to come and rescue you. Yelling for each other is more than, “Honey, can you get me…?” or “Sweetheart, don’t forget the….) the yelling I am talking about is more about public displays of your love for each other. When was the last time you kissed your spouse passionately in public? If your answer is on your wedding day, you better have been married today! I’m not suggesting that you need huge amounts of “PDA” (public displays of affection), but holding hands or walking arm in arm are ways that you can “yell” your love to the world. An occasional complement of your spouse in front of their friends will also “yell” that you love them.     
 
So here is your assignment for the week if you should choose to accept it. Check your pulse this week by putting “more love in your day” everyday. Think of ways to rearrange your schedule so you can do something special for your spouse. Get involved in “doing” something that says, “I love your more today than I have ever loved you before.” Take the high road more often, talk about the good things you have in your marriage, care more, and yes, “yell” more than you have ever “yelled” before. Jesus was the expert at modeling love for us to emulate. In fact at his lowest point on the cross, just before He cried out that, “It is finished!” he asked the Father to forgive those around him because they didn’t understand what they were doing. Perhaps, we can do the same for those around us as well.