February 10, 2009
 
Global warming is not the biggest problem we face in our world, after every winter storm, ice eventually melts; it’s a cycle that has repeated itself through the ages. But in the winter of our discontent with others, it’s a little less predictable. Stormy relationships can form ice between two hearts so thick that it can take years to thaw. In a marriage, many spouses chose to give up rather than chip through the ice. If they refuse to work through their problems and get a divorce, they leave bits and pieces of their heart behind. The emotional scars produced can haunt a person until they seek the healing they need from God. I want to promote a different solution for those who find their love for a spouse frozen in time. Pray for heat! Pray that God will heat things up in your life so “as the ice melts” you can rekindle a new fire with the love of your life.
 
Measure the depth and breadth of your love...
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” Ephesians 3:16-18
 
There is an old saying, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”. If you are in the middle of a storm with your spouse, take time to measure the “depth and breadth” of your love. Consider the fact that your emotions may be exaggerating the severity of your problem. My wife and I have what I believe to be a great relationship, but there are times when we both want to throw each other under the bus (not literally of course). Well, maybe sometimes it gets that bad. The point is that at one time you could not keep your hands off of each other and now it’s time for your love to grow up. New love is full of passion while mature love has passion plus; passion plus depth and breadth. The more you know about your spouse (depth of knowledge), the more you want to live for your spouse (breadth of commitment). That’s the kind of love that God has modeled for us to live.    
 
Enter into a new season of love…
“I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit.” Leviticus 26:4
 
Nobody ever taught my wife and I, how to love, but we did have plenty of examples. Unfortunately, couples don’t take the time to learn from what they see alone. However, now that I gave you room to justify why you never knew how to have a mature love, get over it; as my wife likes to say, “Put on your big boy pants”, not to me of course. Snow laden trees get stronger, chicks who struggle to get out of their shell survive and so do couples who learn how to move from passion to passion plus. If a couple knew what it was like to raise teenagers there would be fewer children born, but there is not a better moment in life than when you see your child or grandchild grow to be a responsible adult. Every season of love has its storms, but when the “ice melts” or the rain soaks into the fertile ground, a marriage begins to yield the sweetest fruit of all; mature love.
 
Learn from the past…
“It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.” Psalm 119:71
 
So, how does one get “passion plus” without all of the struggles? To be honest, I would have to say that I don’t know, because the best way is to “learn from the past”; the failures and struggles we experience contain lessons for us to understand and apply to our life. Some people love to wallow in the mud of their own making but mature people learn from their mistakes. However, you can avoid some pain by learning from the mistakes of others. If I could magically change the world, I would require every couple to undergo mandatory study and training before they could get married. They would also be assigned a mature couple to serve as their mentors, who would follow their progress along the way. It’s actually a biblical model from the book of Titus. The older men are encouraged to teach the younger men and the older women are to do the same with the younger women. Wisdom is to be passed on from one generation to the next.   
 
Take steps to a new future…
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” Psalm 143:10
 
 They say that every journey begins with the first step; then it’s just a process of repeating that step over and over again until you arrive at your destination. So, what will be your first step? Are you willing to take it and repeat it time and time again? God is willing to guide you, but He will not force you to do anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t know “what to do”, ask. If you don’t know “how to do”, ask. If you don’t “want to do”, pray until God changes your heart. Don’t make decisions without asking God to guide your steps. If you were lost, wouldn’t you want an experienced person by your side? The same thing is true in a relationship; if you are lost, get some help to take the next step.
 
Seize every opportunity to love…
“Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
 
If you are on the right path and you have the best of intentions, “seize every opportunity to love” your spouse. Too many times we hear stories where a loved one went off to work mad and never made it back home alive. We never know what tomorrow will look like, but we do know who does. Throughout scripture God tells us to love Him and to love others. This admonition is for our spouses as well. We never want to take today for granted, thinking that tomorrow will be okay or to live in fear. When we leave home with a full tank of love it’s easier to make it through the day.
 
What’s the weather like in your life, any “ice storms”? As you “check your pulse” this week take time to scan the horizon, look for any signs of bad weather. If you are already in the eye of the storm think about what you can do to improve the moment and what to do “as the ice melts”. I guarantee that God can help you make the right decisions. If nothing else, pray for heat!
 
Del Brixey
“Ice Watch 2009”
 
CHALLENGED TO THE CORE
P.O. BOX 414
LAKE ARROWHEAD, CA 92352-0414