Challenged To The Core - Del Brixey

One of my son’s favorite toys growing up was his “transformers.” He would spend hours playing with them; in a few simple “twists and turns” he could “transform” an object such as an airplane into an action figure hero. Each toy had a unique sequence of moves required to reveal the true identity of the hero. Isn’t it interesting that the same is true in our own life; our “twists and turns” in life are used by God to “transform” us into the “hero” He designed us to be. The problem in my life, is that the “transformation” into the “new” me (2 Corinthians 5:17) is sometimes a painful process because I am not always a willing participant. In our ministry, couples often ask how long will it take for their marriage to heal. It’s an honest question without a clear cut answer because every situation is different. However, what I want them to understand is that God has his arms on their shoulders gently guiding them together. In fact, He has already moved them close enough to seek help, but the amount of time it takes to heal their marriage is up to them. The faster they shovel the quicker the pile of junk separating their two hearts will disappear. There is no magic formula. Unfortunately, some never make the effort and others just give lip service to it until they get a divorce. But those who listen to God and put in the effort experience a “transformation” in their marriage from living “sadly ever after” to living “happily ever after.”

For those of you who are skeptical about this concept of “transformation”, let me assure you that it’s not quite the storybook ending that the words “happily ever after” conjures up in your mind. It’s a marriage that still has daily struggles, weekly battles and an occasional melt down, but you are committed to each other. My wife and I teach “The Personalities” so I understand that it is harder for some of us to get along than it is for others, especially if we are strong willed or should I say set in our ways. The following story is true none of the names have been changed to protect the identity or pride of the individuals involved. The other day my wife decided that “our” toaster was no longer permitted to loiter on “our” kitchen counter. After breakfast it had to pack up and move itself to a cupboard were no one could see it, including me. Being the loving and gentle husband that I am I said, “Why on earth would anyone ever do that?” or something to that affect. After all, if a man wants to make toast at 6:00 in the morning, 2:00 in the afternoon or even in the evening he shouldn’t have to search high and low for the darn thing. Just for clarification, she did tell me where she put it long before I blew a gasket over the issue. When I determined that my highly developed argument was going nowhere fast, I promptly exited the kitchen in search of a quiet hiding place. In other words, I retreated before I told her exactly how I felt about her well thought out idea. Do you see how we can let the silliest of situations become bloody battlefields? Your dilemma may not be the location of a “toaster”, but it can be just as ridiculous.

So…what do you think is really going on in these “real-life” dramas playing out in homes across America if not the world? I believe it’s not as difficult to discover or as hard to fix as you think; behind every argument there lays an unwillingness to face change. Years ago the General Manager of the company I worked for had the sales staff read a book called Who Moved My Cheese? It deals with learning how to take our frustration over change and use it in positive ways. In the Bible Jesus said it this way, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life”, but we still try to go our own way, find our own version of the truth so we feel justified in how we live our life. My issue with the “toaster” had nothing to do with “location” it was all about my own convenience. I viewed this change in my life as inconvenient. Is it convenient for a husband to assist his wife with a household project when an important football game is on the television? No. Is it convenient for a wife to put her husband’s needs before her own needs when everyone else has been clamoring for her attention all day? No; but “happily ever after” demands that we do, convenient or not.

Well, every marriage has a “toaster” or two that can “transform” your relationship, what’s yours? More importantly, are you willing to put them on the countertop for discussion? Nothing’s worse than two people living under the same roof hiding their “toasters” from each other. One spouse or the other will not go near the cupboard where it sits patiently waiting to be used as an instrument of “transformation”. Perhaps we can start a movement called the “Transforming Toasters”, where couples from around the world could learn how to warm up to each other. There would be tee-shirts, coffee mugs and even bumper stickers promoting “toaster” awareness. If you are still reading, please don’t forget to “check your pulse” this week; pray for your marriage or the marriage of those around you who need to discover how God can use the “twists and turns” of life to “transform” marriages one “toaster” at a time. And by the way, don’t forget the part about living “happily ever after” either. Oh, I almost forgot, in case you ever need a toaster at our home it’s on the right side of the kitchen, bottom left hand cupboard, bottom shelf on the right side.

Del Brixey
“Toaster Man”

CHALLENGED TO THE CORE
P.O. BOX 414
LAKE ARROWHEAD, CA 92352-0414

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